Poor breasts get no love anymore. You would expect that with the many years it spends feeding humanity after birth (and even beyond), the least we would do is show it a little more love and respect. Or at least, pay it some attention.
Over the years, several songs have been made in honor of the breasts’ biggest rival, the buttocks (I know, that word is quite smelly), a.k.a. booty; a.k.a. butt; a.k.a. backside; and the nicknames are endless. Sunny Neji had a song ‘Mr. Fantastic’ with a hook in honor of the ikebe and its potential to put people “for wahla”; and it became a monster hit for years. More recently, the much vilified but notoriously popular Afro Candy sang ‘Ikebe Na Money’ in honor of the backside and how financially rewarding its good use can be. This does not mean I agree with her o! Before you people say I am promoting something else!
Internationally, Big Sean recently gave us a single; ‘Dance (Ass)’ with an opening line that says; “ass ass ass”; twenty two whole times… That came not too long before Rihanna gave us her own single ‘Birthday Cake’, which of course is another alias for the backside. A hook in the song has you saying “cake cake cake”, fifteen times. Being at a party or club when any of these songs come on and seeing how girls struggle to bounce and shake their bootys, just leaves you knowing how much power that part of the body has gained.
Tinsel for example has a lot of fans these days. Being on social media whenever the soap comes on, and reading people’s comments is enough to let you understand. One of the main characters on the soap is called Telema Duke. I know many men who watch that series just to see her; not because she’s a great actress, which of course she is, or because she is so pretty, which of course she is; but mostly because she probably has the most popular booty on Nigerian television these days. Mehn, even I have to admit that my jaw has dropped a few times just seeing her back the camera. P.S: whoever the costume person on the show is, we see what you do with those tight hugging short dresses you always give her to wear. We are not really complaining sha.
One thing I complained about in the last couple of years though, was Olu Maintain’s absence from the music scene. I am a fan and couldn’t understand where he suddenly disappeared to after that monster hit ‘Yahoozee’. About 2 months ago, he came back and did so in the best way possible, giving us a new single and video in quick succession. ‘NAWTi’ became instantly popular and thankfully, the video did justice to it. In a perfect world, the women who played mothers in the video would be the breakout stars for the funny angle they brought to it. But naah, not in today’s world where bootys rule. People have not stopped talking about the girl in the bedroom with the pink ‘NAWTi’ underwear. Why? Her booty just can’t be ignored. I know a few men who have paused and screen captured and slow motioned that particular scene to no end.
As if that was not enough, Wande Coal finally gave us a new video for his song ‘Private Trips’. Now, besides the fact that many people have been very sad with his inability to do the dougie properly (which is actually annoying since he used to be a proper dancer), the girl in the video definitely stole the show. There’s some sort of an argument going on as to whether that booty is for real or if it was computer generated or if she wore butt pads. It looked almost unreal especially as the girl had that innocent ‘take home to mama’ face. Where on earth did that booty come from?
I am more a boob man and you can tell that this bothers me just a little. Nikki Minaj gets all the buzz for her backside and no one cares whether they are real or not. Meanwhile, the moment a lady appears with fake boobs, she’s called all sorts of names. Does this mean that the booty has finally won the age long battle? In that Davido concert video in Malaysia, which was all over social media last week, why did he ask for girls with big bootys to come on stage and not those with big boobs? I think the answer is pretty clear…
Finally, I hope I’ve helped you women answer a small part of the question ‘What do men really want’. Or have I?